prayer for the persecuted church
last night I went to the Open Doors headquarters for a prayer meeting for the persecuted church; their offices are in Santa Ana, very close to where I live/work. I went because Patricia, woman who owns the house where I am renting, coordinates for her church awareness of the persecuted church, and the director of Open Doors asked her to lead worship last night for the prayer meeting, she plays the autoharp and sings.
the meeting was
super educational. I had
no idea such things were occuring in the church today. I would like to write more about this later.
The website for Open Doors USA is
http://opendoorsusa.com for more info.
also, in January they may have Brother Andrew at the prayer meeting, as he will be in SoCal the last week on Jan 2006. He's a 77-year-old Dutchman now, and still going strong! I wasn't even sure if he was still alive. I actually have two of his books (not here with me in CA, but stored at parents in Chicago), one is called "God Smuggler" about how he took Bibles to communist countries. The second book, "And God changed his mind" about prayer.
Not that Brother Andrew is God, but I do sort of want to meet him or hear him talk because I read his books and all.
I think I do have intercession gift, but sometimes it has not been a priority of mine to sit and spend time praying.
song that reminds me of senior year, college
it was popular then...
Newsboys - Entertaining AngelsFrom the album
Step Up To The MicrophoneOne to another
Do You remember me
I feel so small
Are You listening tonight
So temporary
Things that I have seen
I ran so far
Will You take me back again
Entertaining angels
By the light of my t.v. screen
24-7 You wait for me
Entertaining angels
By the time I fall to my knees
Host of Heaven, sing over me
One to another
The feelings in between
I won't let go
Of all You taught me - alright
Close as a brother
The way we used to be
I'll hold my breath
And wait for
You to breathe
Entertaining angels
By the light of my t.v. screen
24-7 You wait for me
Entertaining angels
While the night becomes history
Host of heaven, sing over me
Label: Star Song
emotional unfaithfulness
I've been thinking, about a week or so ago, though I haven't been unfaithful as far as physically, I think also of importance is emotional faithfulness, esp. for women, because maybe that is (???) how we get attached to people, or even how we fall in love, or even what is important to us in the beginning: the sort of sharing of emotions and things that are important to us.
found purse
last night I found a purse at Marshall's. pretty conservative, black, Tommy Hilfinger!!! It was $24.99.
I'm not sure, when I was there, I found green purse (like the color of money!) that I liked. It was just really nice leather, and I liked the style. But I thought
green???
I would have been breaking the conservative black purse mold, but maybe I should have ventured out of the mold...
on second thought, maybe I will take my conservative purse back for the green one.
restaurant
yesterday I went to a restaurant I like to hang out at in H.B. well, I've been there 3 times in the last 2 months. I sat close to the same place I sat before, and I had the same waiter as the first time.
but this was at least one month ago. however, when I ordered, the waiter said, "that's the same thing you ordered last time!" Then immediately, I think he regretted saying that, I was thinking, "are you obsessing?" but I was shocked--doesn't he have other customers?
glad I stand out though.
the maker's diet
Sat. night I went with Jen's aunt and uncle to dinner, they live on Balboa Island. They're into this apparently biblical diet called "the Maker's Diet;" the author went through the entire Bible to decifer what God wrote about food, and he created some guidelines for his book, such as eating bread where the wheat has not been fully ground, and eating only organic.
So Saturday they fed us for dinner all food that was following the rules of this diet. We had salad, soup, and bread. Now, this may be psychological, but the next morning I felt *great* (or, it may be sleep). so, I thought maybe I would look into more of this diet. I'm into health.
purse shopping
so, I really need a new purse, but I couldn't find one yesterday. I went to a store that I usu. buy new purse at in Chicago, however, in SoCal their selection is completely different. I like
conservative--I'd be happy with just a plain, black purse (nothing ostentatious!) but in SoCal the selection is
hip, the colors and the styles.
perhaps I could have a relative from Chicago send me a new purse.
to Jen's for Thanksgiving!
so, I'm going to Jen's (friend) family Thanksgiving. I've not been up to her house yet, but I heard it's nice. I called her mom yesterday to ask if I should bring anything, like if I should buy pies, etc. and she said I could just bring some bottles of diet soda, that's it, "just bring myself." how nice!
everybody wins
I found this entry off of Eric Keck's blog. I thought it was fitting for situations showing how Christians can win by helping others, everybody wins. they win, you win.
from
http://erickeck.com"getting a chance to help a widow in need (w.i.n.) and pretty pumped about it. a 14 year old friend of mine from work has a 283 acre farm that has been in his family since it was homesteaded back in the 1700's i think he was telling us that it was his great x 6 grandfathers (who he is named after)and remarkably the farm has never left the family. the farm and out buildings are huge and there is a ton of work to do before winter comes... his father recently died and he and his mom need a lot of help. in line with our trying to be human to humans projects we are going to see if we can get some of the brush piles, board piles, fences and pastures taken care of today. i forgot my camera... but im thinking pictures will follow... it should be a day close to the heart of god"
or not
I don't think I can go 6 weeks without a work-out gym!!! Because that is how I cope with all of my stress. And I just moved 6 weeks ago from Chicago, leaving all of my belongings except for a portion of my clothes and a few other belongings, pictures, etc.--leaving all of my friends when I have lived in Chicago my entire life (28yrs).
and I have to make all new connections (besides the three friends I had here in SoCal already), new church, etc.
I'm going to have to sign up for my membership once my free membership expires. I was at the gym last night.
what if I stumble...
Yesterday I heard the DC Talk song on the internet radio, "what if I stumble?" and I thought the chorus expresses some of my own thoughts about leadership. because don't leaders worry they will lead people astray sometimes. and what's going to happen when the
walk becomes a
crawl? (my biggest question!!!) when it's just enough stuggle with one's own walk with God, not even to
guide other people in their's. I've been thinking about this for a long time actually.
Here's the words in the chorus
what if I stumble, what if I fall?
what if I lose myself and I make fools of us all
will the love continue, when the walk becomes a crawl...
what if I stumble, and what if I fall?
what's this "liking people" stuff...
just kidding.
here is a list I'm copying (I love it!) of
Leadership Qualities from the Scrimenti-Moore Housegroup, taken off of saltsite.com, the direct link would be
A good leader has:
A prayer life
A prophetic gifting/hears from God
A servant heart
Authenticity
Compassion
Creativity
God's wisdom
Grace
High standards
A sense of humor
Integrity
Knowledge
Mercy
Passion
Patience
Perseverance
Spiritual authority
Transparency
A good leader is:
A communicator
A discipler/mentor
A good listener
An interceder/intercessor
Annointed/Raised up by God
Approachable
Bold
Challenging
Counter-cultural
Discerning
Encouraging
Honest
Humble
Intimate with Christ
Logical/Objective
Loving
Motivational
Shrewd
Vulnerable
Willing to do what's unpopular
World-savvy
A good leader will:
Admit mistakes
Cast a vision
Exhort others to live like Jesus
Have a testimony
Have people follow them
Hear from God
Know the Word
Like people
Set a direction & walk it out
Set an example
Set good boundaries
Speak the truth in critical times
Speak the truth in love
happy birthday, grandpoppy!
so, my grandpa's birthday is today. my mother called me two days ago to remind me to give him a call, and to send a card. when I went to the store, I couldn't find a card that I thought would adequately express what I wanted, although I did find sort of a funny card, "top ten reason why kids need grandpa's" which said, "who else has more quarters than the U.S. mint?" etc.
but I wasn't satisfied with that card. after all, I thought, this could be my grandpa's last birthday on earth (for all I know) and I wanted a card that pointed to God. so I found one at Hallmark under the "religious" birthday cards that more adequately expressed what I wanted to say. (for all this trouble, I should have just made my own card).
The outside said, "If you were to walk back throught the years of your life, you'd be waist-high in the fields of joy you've lovingly sown for others." The inside said, "Thanking God today for all that you give, all that you are Happy Birthday." with the verse Proverbs 11:18 "He who sows righteousness reaps a sure reward."
It's just that I think my grandpa has lived a life of righteousness.
small world, dude!
funny stuff, Kelli B., who I recently discovered her blog about a month or so ago, commented that last night she was going to do a service project by taking out trash, etc. at a university. So, I had my suspicions (it sounds very vineyardish) that perhaps she went to a Vineyard in Ames. Because Vineyard churches are into service evangelism. And I remember that Debbie B., formerly a worship leader at the Evanston Vineyard, left Evanston to lead worship at a church plant in Ames.
It turns out that they know each other, small world!
God
So, Tues. night I went to a women's Bible study at the River. The regular teacher was not there, but there was a replacement, anyway, I felt that God gave me this verse when we were reading P 31, I mean, that he divinely gave me this word "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" Like, God was saying, "*You*!" But I don't know why God would say such things about me.
membership class 101
so, the River Tustin is having a membership class 101 this Sunday 2-6pm, and I thought I would RSVP and go so that I find out exactly what the church is about. namely, I need to find out what the church thinks about women in leadership, because I am getting to the point,
finally, where I realize, church only works for me if I am in a pro-women set of beliefs, a.k.a., that women are allowed to lead whatever, no exceptions. that's the way it was at my previous church, the Oak Park Vineyard. so, I'm telling Jesus that he has to find me a pro-women church. It's all His responsiblity now.
what I mean is: if the Lord chose to reveal to me who I am (as good as men), then He has to provide for me a church that will help me out in this area.
24-hour fitness, continued
okay, I think I'm going to wait until the new year to get my membership at 24-hr fitness. that will only be six weeks after my free membership expires, so I can just workout outside until that time (run, bike, etc.) I just will not be able to cross train, lift weights.
The only reason I'm waiting is because I'm moving Dec. 1, so that is sort of complicated, even though I just moved Oct. 1 from Chicago. Also, I think gyms always give the best deals for New Year's, because they want to lure people with their resolutions.
THE LORD
Part I:Rent
a quick note,
anyway, I just wanted to note that
the Lord does what he wants to do, as far as, you could wait and wait for something, and then all of a sudden, the Lord decides to open that door for you. For example, I wanted to be close to the UC Irvine when I moved to California, because it is a large university w/a med school, research, etc. And I'm working in Irvine currently, but I am not really making as much money... so, I thought I couldn't afford to take any classes.
so, I was planning to move to Irvine, it ends up through the circumstances that I am moving Dec. 1, instead of Jan. 1. But, the thing is, I am like 5 minutes from the UC Irvine campus. And my rent is only $200/month, cheap! (I'm living with my friend Kathryn's mom, in her condo. She rents another room to another woman from her church for another $200/month).
so, it's like God gives me cheaper rent than what I expected in CA (instead of through my paycheck) and puts me so close to the campus, that I really do not have any excuse not to up my application to med school.
part II: TESOL
Also, I have two friends who teach TESOL (English to immigrants) for the public schools. I actually looked on-line before I moved, to see if I could teach Enlish a second language, because that is what I did for 4 months overseas after I graduated . Anyway, I thought is was not possible, that I needed further certification or a master's degree, etc.
According to Amy and Sally though, all I would need to do is paperwork to be able to teach in California, because I already have my state teaching certificate in the state of Illinois. And "jump through hoops," a bunch of them, like pay $200 to get fingerprinted (which seems astronomical--how could it be that much money to dip my fingers in some ink?) and pay $125 to get someone at a state university look over my college transcripts, etc.
But the pay is like $40/hr. to teach, which would be much better than what I am making currently. Plus, I already have two friends who work at the school, Amy has taught there for five years, so that would definitly count as an "in."
Plus, I do have experience, as I already taught ESL overseas.
Until then, I am satisfied working at the mortgage company. we have really nice managers here, very understanding, etc.
III. some closing thought
Also, I am getting to the point...I had the impression last week that God, like, can't wait to bail me out on some things. Because He wants me to know that *it's Him.* Like, God's like on the edge of his seat to bail me out... He can't wait because he wants me to know that it's Him (I know I already said that). closeness.
The River Tustin
so, Sunday I went to a new (for me) church, the Tustin Vineyard named the River, which meets in an elementary school auditorium off the 55, it was standing room only. apparently, they are experiencing a sort of *outpouring* the last five weeks or so, it started with the high school retreat five weeks back, with a (what turned-out to be) 5 and a half hour worship service. Then it traveled to the men's retreat a few weeks ago, where they also experienced an outpouring of the presence of God.
Then last week, at the college meeting, *again* they experienced the presence of God to the point that college students had to be *carried out of the meeting* and were unable to drive home. instead they had to be driven home.
Here is quote from Acts 2:1 "On the day of Pentecost, seven weeks after Jesus' resurrection, the believers were meeting together in one place. Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven...And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in others languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability"
see, anyone witnessing these meetings would be like, "these people are clearly drunk," like what was said of the apostles at pentacost.
also, when I first came to the service, I though, "oh good, they haven't started the service yet" because I heard someone singing, and I thought it was Matt Redmond on C.D. then I realized that is was an actual guy leading worship, who I thought actually
was Matt Redmond (I forgot what he looked like) and I thought, "how did
they get him?" I mean, it was kind of a small church.
thirdly, I realized it was not Matt Redmond, it was an actual someone else, probably like a 20-year-old guy with an *astounding* voice, he is the worship intern, aparently.
what was endearing to me; there were some *really* old people, like people with white hair in their 70's and 80's. even this woman in her 80's (well, I assumed 80's because she spoke about her children, and great-grandchildren) prophesied, it was cool.
but you get the feeling that these people (the old people) have waited a long time for this.
side note (of little spiritual significance, really): when I was in the worship service, I'm so embarrassed! this tall, handsome young man came and stood next to me,
and it only took, like, ten minutes, (two worship songs) for a guy to come stand next to me. (because I'm such a babe, clearly) but that is also why I don't like going to new churches. because everyone knows *you're new*, and all the single young men try to make their move.
not that I'm blaming them, I mean, they are only human.
from Deb
here is a quote from Deb's blog, taken out of a book,
"You don't have the power to mess up God's plans."
T or F?
I'm leaning towards T, just because this statement feels like the truth. Lies usu. invoke some kind of fear response. also: do people honestly think they are smart enough to mess up God's plans? Nope, God's way smarter.
24-hour fitness
so, I want/I *need* to get a gym membership here in SoCal. Last night I went to check out 24-hr Fitness since there are so many here in SoCal. The problem is, I didn't really want to sign up, since I have problems getting my paychecks in the mail, not until I get direct deposit. otherwise, I am too stressed out. not until I have steady income being directly deposited.
I really need a fitness fix though. It's like I am chemically dependant, a work-out-aholic. And when I was walking up to the gym door, I just felt this overwhelming feeling that I *really needed to work out.* I used to go to Bally's almost everyday when I lived in Chicago. I'm addicted. I haven't worked out at all since *Saturday*. If I was working in the E.R. as I used to do, maybe I could get away with it, since it is so much manuel labor.
so, these gyms are open 24-hrs/day. Is that like an alcoholic needing a 24-hr liquor store? Just in case I need to work-out at 2am. no, I think I would be too tired to work out then.
addendum: I learned that, the "harder sell" you are, the more free stuff you get. for example, I had not intention of signing up for a membership the other day when I went to the gym, I only wanted to see how much a membership would cost. But the people there are trained to sell you the membership, so I told them I was going to think about it, and he gave me a three week free membership.
we're throwing a party
today we are throwing a party for one of the underwriters who is having her second child, a boy. actually, we are having a pot luck, and it is encouraging to watch everyone come in this a.m. with pots (containers) of food. I just brought Hawaian rolls for Ralph's, no cooking involved for me, thank you, but other people actually went all out and *made* something. not that I mind cooking, you know, but I don't want to make a big mess, etc.
and people brought gifts, like a baby shower (I didn't really know it was going to be a baby shower), and some people are decorating the conference rooms, and Angela brought balloons. it's a party for lunch today, man! the way to get lots of baby gifts is to work for a medium-sized company...and to have lots of friends.
man from work has a secret crush on me
hey, there's a man I work with, my new job in CA who has a crush on me, I can tell, because I'm prophetic (or is this not prophecy??? I don't know) I think it is prophecy though (revealed to me by the Lord).
He tries to talk to me like 7x a day.
okay, perhaps I don't need "revelation from the Lord"
dude, I need to work out
I'd like to find a gym here in California. my aunt goes to 24-hour fitness, and there is actually one close to where I work. Also, it seems like they have chains everywhere in California. my aunt says it's only $25/month, but I have no idea what initial fee is to join the club.
Korean church
the last several weeks I have been attending a Friday night fellowship group with one of my new-found friends, Sally, (introduced to me by Amy A., who just had a baby) she is also a TESOL teacher with Amy at Garden Grove. Sally and her fiance attend this group, so I went the last two weeks, the first week I was too tired to go.
Now they are changing the format, and they will not have the Friday night fellowship group anymore, instead they will have "family groups" which I am not even sure exactly what it entails. BUT I was so glad I went the last two weeks because I learned so much.
The first week was lead by an actual M.D., one of the regular attenders of the church and a part of the leadership team there. (I was floored that an m.d. actually has time to lead a Friday night group). We were studying through Exodus, Moses' life, etc.
particularly we discussed Moses' calling: that he ended up being raised in a palace with the best education (raised as a king) that he would be able to use when he lead the Isrealites in the wilderness; he had to know war strategy, etc, and where else would he be able to learn these things. Also, that he would need a formal education to write the Pentatuch.
Last week, we continued studying Exodus, particulary the Isrealites opression from the Eygptians, and the plagues sent by God to show Pharoah to let the Isrealites go. anyway, when we were going through the situation (this study was lead by Sally's fiance--boy, does he love to talk. he was formally a six-grade teacher and I can totally tell) we were talking about idols. And Sally's fiance asked, "what do you think are some idols in the united states?"
the m.d. said, "I think Hollywood." (I think this is so true) and he explained, "It's like we (the masses) give our money to a few, and as a result we are so depressed b/c we see all that we can't have." I thought there was truth to what he was saying. It's like we tithe our money to Tom Cruise!!!!
Ester said, "I think the American dream," and she explained that people are so caught up in achieving it, that they become enslaved by their *time*. whereas when she went to a foreign country, people were hanging out in the middle of day, and she was thinking, in her task-oriented, american way, "what's wrong with them? go plant something!"
