new Chris Rice song, "Lemonade"
this is the chorus to a Chris Rice song, from his new CD, "Amusing," such is my life,
Life gave me lemonade and I can't imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I'm a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!
Also, Chris Rice is like the king of rhyme, this is later in the song, the reprise
I've got it made
Rest in the shade
And hold my love
While God above
Stirs with a spoon
We share the moon
Smile at the bees
More sugar please
He really loves us after all
We're gonna need another straw!
Chris Rice is my favorite Christian song writer for years. I try to compare him to Bebo Norman, also very intelligent, but Bebo just doesn't compare. I mean, he has a few well written songs on his first CD, but not as good as Chris Rice. Whenever I hear Bebo's songs on the radio, I wish he would've stayed in medical school.
the economy
I found this article on msn
http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/invest/extra/p126956.asp?GT1=6821I guess I resinate w/it, because if the economy is doing better (news to me), I certainly do not feel secure b/c of the baby boomers retiring (how is medicare going to pay for health care costs?) AND the skyrocking price of fuel.
In Christ Alone
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm though the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears asre stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious love of Christ
No in guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
Form life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
Kate
I wanted to write, just briefly, one more entry about my day of solitude, which wasn't really that productive, oh well. But before my day of solitude, I had thought about my friend Kate, and I was reminded how I had always thought that I would be ready for the "m" word when I learn how to be a bright shining true friend.
So, I am wondering about my friend Kate: if I am really taking care of her amist all of her world travels.
side note: Kate is also a fellow INFJ. And she left out her Norah Jones CD's for me, and I was so confused, because I thought--did Kate leave these out for me? I didn't know if Kate read my blog!
What does Glory mean to you?
the above question was on a quiz on Sovevuni's webpage. I read all of the choices, yet didn't agree with any of them.
I think glory means: something displaying a nature that points to God, the giver of all the glory. Like, my whole mission in life, "I am that He will be."
confession
I just thought I would go public w/ my behavior. A. (man from work) asked me out. Sunday I said "yes", then I called Wednesday, and left him a message on his voicemail that I changed my mind. I have not seen him at work for like, two weeks. So, I asked someone how he was doing (his friend). I asked, "how many hours a week does he work?" and he said "40" and I asked, "why haven't I seen him?" He said, "well, you only work two days a week" blah, blah, blah. Then he told me that he would tell A. that I asked about him.
I couldn't help but ask about him b/c I think I felt guilty about cancelling like that.
personality test
INFJ's (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging) focus on possibilities, think in terms of values and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (1 percent) is regrettable, since INFJ's have an unusually strong drive to contribute to their fellow man. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.
It is an INFJ who is likely to have visions of human events past, present, or future. If a person demonstrates an ability to understand psychic phenomenom better than most others, this person is abt to be an INFJ. Characteristically, INFJ's have strong empathic ablilities and can be aware of another's emotions or intents even before that person is conscious of these. This can take the form of feeling distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types. INFJ's can intuit good and evil in others, although they seldom can tell how they came to know. Subsequent events tend to bear them out, however.
INFJ's are usually good students, achievers who exhibit an unostentacious creativity. They take their work seriously and enjoy academic activity. They can exhibit qualities of over-perfectionism and put more into a task than perhaps is justified by the nature of the task. They generally will not be visable leaders, but will quietly exert influence behind the scenes.
INFJ's are hard to get to know. They have unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. Because of their vulnerability through a strong facility to introject, INFJ's can be hurt rather easily by others, which, perhaps, is at least one reason they tend to be private people. People who have known an INFJ for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that INFJ's are inconsistent; they are very consistent and value integrity. But they have convoluted, complex personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
INFJ's like to please others and tend to contribute their own best efforts in all situations. They prefer and enjoy agreeing with others, and find conflict disagreeable and destructive. (What?) What is known as ESP is likely found in an INFJ more than in any other types, although other types are capable of such phenomena. INFJ's have vivid imaginations exercised both in memory and intuition, and this can amount to genius (I hate to write the word "genius" in my personality profile--but that is actually what it says). . . This unfettered imagination often will enable this person to compose complex and often aestheic works of art such as music, mathematical systems, poems, plays, and novels. In a sense, the INFJ is the most poetic of all the types. Just as an ENTJ cannot
not lead, so must the INFJ intuit; this capability extends to people, things, and often events, taking the forms of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come. . . .
INFJ's often select liberal arts as a college major and opt for occupations which involve interacting with people, but on a one-to-one basis. For example, the general practitioner in medicine might be an INFJ, or the psychiatrist or psychologist. As with all NF's, the ministry holds attraction, although the INFJ must develop an extraverted role here which requires a great deal of energy. INFJ's may be attracted to writing as a profession, and often they use language which contains an unusual degree of imagery. They are masters of the metaphor, and both their verbal and written communications tend to be elegant and complex. Their great talent for language usually is directed toward people in a personalized way. INFJ's who write comment often that they write with a particular person in mind; writing to a faceless, abstract audience leaves them uninspired.
church in Glen Ellyn
Sunday I decided to entirely be Kate, and attend Kate's church (a church I attended for a while in undergrad) in addition to stay at her condo. God set me up though, b/c Stuart Ruch's sermon was entirely on hospitality, and he challenged Rez ers to step of their hospitality towards church newcomers.
He gave the illustration of a young man, Jonathan, who is staying at their house, on their sofa bed in the living room, and he was at work or an activity on Sat. night; Stuart mistakenly did not unlock the screen door for Jonathan that night, and he discovered him the next morning, his 6'2 frame huddled in the fetal position on a bench in the screen porch, with only a few pillows surrounding him for warmth. He had locked him out, after Jonathan had picked his family up (w/four kids) from O'Hare airport, cleaned their entire house and their
car while they were on vacation in Florida for a the week. whew, talk about servant's heart.
When Stuart realized what he had done, he said, "Jonathan!
Catherine must have locked the screen door." But then he said flashes of the apple, the garden of Eden, "the women
you gave to me," went through his mind, and he admitted, "No, Jonathan, I'm sorry, it was me."
When he finished the sermon, my only thought; I'm not going to make it out alive, because suddenly, the Rez community was focused on new people, and there I was. I turned around to leave, and a couple behind me asked me where I was from, if I was visiting, etc. I said, to everyone who asked, "I'm a friend of Kate L.'s" and they said, "Oh, Kate." (Everyone knows who you are, Kate.)
During the sermon, I spotted a guy I knew from college who, I remembered, went to med school at UIC. After the sermon I tracked him down, so I could ask him q's about UIC's medical school, which up until recently, was where I wanted to go to med school. He asked me for my phone number. I was like, "I can give you my e-mail" but then I also wrote down my phone number, too, although I really prefer that he would e-mail me.
vacation to Warrenville
as planned I took yesterday to spend some solitude time w/God. Instead, I felt so tempted to call my sister on my cell phone, which would have defeated the purpose of
solitude. And I spent a small portion of the morning searching for where they kept coffee. Since it seemed that all my mind would wander to was my to-do list for moving to California, in mid-morning I went back to my car to get my planner so I could add to this list. Then I got bored in the afternoon and took out my new camera, belated birthday present, and started playing with it.
So, I'm not really sure if God would be proud to call me his own.
sunset
24
I have been pretty down and out the last 2 days, despite finally finding a Christian roommate, which was a huge relief, let me tell you.
The reason, I believe was that Aug. 11 (2001) was the 4-year anniversery of my brother almost dying, when I was 24. He had a head injury and was rushed to the E.R.--he almost did not make it. The whole situation surrounding that has been very depressing for me to remember, and it's almost like I was living through it again. I'm not sure why I did not remember this the other years, but for some reason, now is the time.
My Matchmaker
Monday I felt the Lord was telling me that *He* is very much looking forward to setting me up with someone *when* I find freedom in a few areas of my life. Like, it's hard for me to find exactly the correct words to explain this--like, God is excited about, or excited for me, to set me up with a right man for me, when the time is right.
it's like God's more looking forward to setting me up with a man who will be upright than I am, or something. And God is really in anticipation of blessing me through this
when (emphasis on when) the time is right.
(I'm not sure if I did justice to what I felt God was telling me Monday by writing it al l down, b/c it's difficult to find just the right wrds to explain.)
some thoughts on love
I decided Saturday, or at least the thought occured to me; love is an invitation to freedom. It is it's very nature; if something invites me
not to freedom, then that would not be love.
In my rela. w/spiders, God wants me to be free from this fear. I'm not sure, at this point, what it's going to take to not be enslaved any longer to the fear of spiders (clearly divine intervention), but I'm willing to reach out and grow in that direction. I don't want to say, if God suggests that I go to a spidery country, "no" to God, and that is primarily my concern--to be available to do what God wants me to do without fear restricting me.
Carlos, another E.R. employee, said "I love spiders! I think they're beautiful," when I told him I was afraid of spiders yesterday. I was in awe that anyone could think spiders are beautiful, and I'm totally not there, though I wish I could think that way. He said he was the only one he knew who thought this way.
But fear has been my companion in other ways, too. I need to tackle both spiders and a few other things.
arachnophobe
after watching a story on Primetime live on Friday, which took a 15-year-old girl through an intense 4-day exposure program to try to eliminate her fear of spiders, I decided that it's time for me to overcome my own arachnophobia. Yesterday (saturday) I thought very much about what I could do to eliminate my own fear of spiders, and my conclusion is that I should learn how to love spiders.
Today in the E.R., I searched the web and found this quote to inspire me. "Spiders are really fascinating and often attractive animals and if you can learn to share your world with them in peace you will have added a little to your enjoyment of life. Good luck." I read the quote to Paul Guz, RN, and he said, "we'll get you an 8 X 10 glossy of a taranchula to put by your bed." thanks.
I also found some artwork to futher my appriciation of God's creation: the spider.
http://www.k12albemarle.org/StonyPoint/Pages/Lundgren%200304/richardson%20spiders/
come away with me
I feel like God has been saying "come away with me" (from the Nora Jones song) as far as--wanting to have solitude time with me. so I finally planned a solitude retreat in the far suburbs Monday Aug. 15th. The place where I am renting a room, a Catholic retreat center, is cheaper during the weekdays, and I am only renting a room where I can think from 8:30am-4:30pm.
To beat traffic, I asked my friend from college, Kate, if I could stay the night before at her new two-bedroom condo, which is in the same suburb as the retreat center . She actually has invited me out before, but I actually haven't got around to planning my solitude retreat until just now. Unfortunately, she is not going to be in town that weekend, as I feared--she travels a lot-- but she offered to send me her spare keys in the mail! (Do I have the greatest friends, or what?!)
So, my plan is all set. I pray that God really speaks to me in my solitude time. The God who has been telling me, "I'll never stop loving you." (also from the same Nora Jones song)
cross country lessons
here's something totally off the cuff I was just thinking about re: cross country.
I think everyone should have some people that "make them great." by the end of my senior year of high school, I had accolades, but it was the team that "made me great."
date w/a security guard
I'm going on a date, a church date actually, with a security guard from the hospital where I work. It is a long, long story. Actually, I was even going to renege on my offer, because Sunday I had said "yes" and I was thinking today that I would say "no" when he called because I have been so stressed out--I'm moving to California in two months and this is not a convenient time to start a relationship!
Then, he just called, exactly two minutes ago and he sounded so happy and all that I felt that I couldn't say no.
Oh well, it's just one date and it shouldn't kill me. I sure hope not anyway.
